Drawing Out Hearts to Thee
A Testimony of God's Full and Boundless Love at Asbury
“It’s so cool that we’re both going to be Asburians!” I told my wife as she opened her acceptance letter to Asbury University (AU) in the summer of 2022. I had been studying as a hybrid student at Asbury Theological Seminary (ATS), AU’s sister institution, for two years when we made the move to Wilmore last August. Little did I know what February of 2023 would be like.
The decision to move really wasn’t a decision at all. God had made it clear to us through prayerful discernment: I could keep seeking my Master of Divinity degree as a hybrid student and come out with a solid education, but that wasn’t all He had for me. With my clear call to ministry, studying in-person would give me the opportunity to be shaped in ways that would allow me to serve my future parishioners better, know Him deeper, and overall be a better minister. Don’t get me wrong, ATS’ hybrid program is a fantastic option for many to study, but when God calls, you answer, and He had called us very clearly in Estes Chapel on October 7, 2021. In town that week for a hybrid class, I found myself weeping at the altar in surrender to God knowing He was calling us to move to Wilmore. I didn’t understand how logistically any of it would work. But, as He does, things lined up perfectly for us to move and even for my wife to return to school at Asbury University right across the street too. So, we sold everything we could and packed the rest in a U-Haul and moved.
By the time we had moved to Wilmore, I already had an experience of God’s tangible presence in an Asbury chapel, so it wasn’t a surprise to me when my wife texted me on February 8th saying, “Apparently chapel is still going at the University.” She had been in chapel that morning but went to work after and heard from others something was happening. What I didn’t expect, however, was as soon as I received that text message a deep sense of longing filled my heart. I can’t explain it other than the Holy Spirit moving powerfully on me, but I knew I had to go to Hughes Auditorium, Asbury University’s chapel, right then and there when I received that message. So, I did.
I arrived to find what I can only describe as a sweet atmosphere encapsulated by the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit a little after 5 p.m. There were a few students on stage leading in worship, but it was oddly calm. By the time I had arrived many seminarians had begun making their way to Hughes, and the altars were busy. While people were praying at the altars, some prayed in their seats. Others were simply sitting or standing in awe, still others sang. It was like walking into the serenity of a monastery mixed with the awe-inspiring grandness of a cathedral.
I felt the initial pull to go to Hughes, but after I got there, I wasn’t sure why I was there. At some point after I arrived, the chapel speaker for that day, Zach Meerkreebs, grabbed a microphone and asked University students to find seminary students and go pray for them. A University student, who I would later in the week hear preach the Gospel clearly and faithfully, came over to me and asked what he could pray with me about. I awkwardly managed to ask for prayer for the semester, it was our first week over at the seminary. He prayed over me and we chatted a little afterwards, but my heart was increasingly unsettled. I knew there was something deeper I wanted prayer for, but I didn’t want to reveal any hurt I had. I was a seminary student after all – we were here to minister to the University students as God poured out on them, right?
I sat and began to seek God in prayer again, but before long I made eye contact with a fellow seminarian who was at the altars praying with the University students. I wondered if anyone had prayed with him when Zach had asked University students to pray for seminarians. Naively I thought that maybe he was so busy ministering to others that he needed prayer of his own! I got up from my seat and began making my way to him, intent on ministering to him, and he met me halfway in the side aisle. I asked him how he was handling everything, and he simply replied “I’m great, man.” Then, he asked me how I was and if I needed prayer for anything. My walls came tumbling down at his simple question.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
- 1 Peter 5:6-10 (ESV)
Before my mind knew what my mouth was doing, I was pouring out my heart to him about the deep spirit of loneliness I had come under since moving to Wilmore and about relationship hurt I experienced that was keeping me locked in this spirit of loneliness. He listened attentively and then offered to pray for me, placing a hand on my shoulder. He prayed a simple prayer of release from loneliness, healing from hurt, and for the Spirit to renew me. When he finished and removed his hand from my shoulder, I felt a physical lifting of burdens from my body. The loneliness and hurt I had was gone as I felt the Holy Spirit wash His grace over me and pour out His love into my heart. The places in my heart that were previously occupied by loneliness and pain were replaced with supernatural peace and love. God truly healed me.
It was all I could do to stay standing and not weep. I reflected with my friend briefly before finding another seat. After I gathered myself, I just worshipped. There was nothing else I could do in response to what I was experiencing. I soon found that hours had passed and before I knew it, it was 10 p.m., but it felt like I had only been there an hour.
The next day we had a powerful morning chapel service at Asbury Seminary. We heard from a missionary to India, and in response to her testimony of full surrender I discerned God calling me to consecrate the filling I had received the previous evening. I knew that nothing short of full surrender was what He wanted – He wanted all of me. Letting the loneliness creep back in simply wouldn’t do. I found myself unable to do anything but hit the floor, fully submitting myself to the Triune God. I knew I’d never be the same.
The worship pattern of the Outpouring evolved over time, but the core elements stayed the same throughout: student-led worship, public Scripture reading, public testimony, and exhortations to repentance and holiness. On Saturday the 11th, we participated in Holy Communion; I would estimate nearly 2,000 were in attendance. What I saw in these acts of worship was a clear rejection by Gen Z of the seeker-sensitive evangelical church model. There were never stage lights, lyrics on the screen, or worship sets. This was no response to typical promises of free food, popular worship bands, or celebrity preachers (rather, those were turned away). Nothing was “hip” or “cool” about what I was witnessing and participating in. While people got excited at points, it was never hyper-charisma or fueled by emotionalism. I truly think what happened at Asbury is clear evidence the younger generation is tired of the Church trying to impress them. They just want to know and worship God for who He really is, not for what the Church has been trying to portray Him as. And they are right, to give them less than the full Gospel is a disservice. Young adults don’t need an easy Jesus. They need the real Jesus: the one who heals the brokenhearted, delivers the addicted, and saves the sinner. If the Jesus we are giving to young people doesn’t do that, He isn’t worth having.
“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.””
- Ephesians 5:13-14 (ESV)
In the following days I found myself returning to Hughes instead of home after class and work. While I had no routine established yet as it was just the first week of the semester, it felt like this was exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I took a book with me and got some reading done, I worshipped, prayed alone, worked on assignments, prayed with others, and even took a nap at one point. It is hard to pin words but going to Hughes simply felt like the right thing to do every day. I still went to work and school, but afterwards there was simply nowhere else I’d rather be but in the presence of God.
I believe God was reminding me (and the world) something important through that tangible presence that I was so drawn to in Hughes Auditorium. This is how it is supposed to be every day. Instead of us attempting to fill up our free time with things that are other, He wants us to abide in Him. He wants me. He wants all our undivided attention. It wasn’t about Hughes Auditorium, because God is omnipresent, He is everywhere; it was about Him calling us to abide in His presence constantly. There is no substitute. A call to full surrender to God is of course not only contained in one’s heart: it naturally extends to participating in the Body of Christ, meeting Christ in the sacraments, and serving the poor. While God cares about us individually and wants us, full surrender is actually antithetical to self; it is always about glorifying God and loving others. This is what John Wesley meant in that famous and oft-misquoted phrase about “no holiness but social holiness.”1
“Solitary religion is not to be found there. “Holy Solitaries” is a phrase no more consistent with the gospel than Holy Adulterers. The gospel of Christ knows of no religion, but social; no holiness but social holiness. Faith working by love, is the length and breadth and depth and height of Christian perfection.” - John Wesley
There is a truth we too often avoid in the name of comfort. We constantly have distractions vying for our attention, calling us away from practicing the presence of God. Distractions such as social media plague our culture as we attempt to fill every second with something “meaningful.” Yet, as we fill every moment with endless entertainment, we are denying ourselves the One from whom true meaning flows. We are also denying ourselves the means of grace through which full participation in the life of the Church entails. Finally, we are denying ourselves the healing power of serving others. This is what the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit poured out in one place like Wilmore reminds us of – that He is actually accessible at all times in all places, and He wants us to abide in the breadth of His presence and mission.
One of the things about the atmosphere in Wilmore is there was a desperation for God. Most people – students, faculty, and visitors – weren’t simply settling for feel-good mega-church style faith. They were desperate for God. People weren’t afraid to ask the hard questions like the Psalmists did. “Why God? Won’t you do this? Why is this happening? Have you forsaken me?” Those burdens were brought openly to the altars.
As the events at Asbury turned the page into a new week, I found myself desiring to serve the influx of people and so I volunteered for the prayer team. As with what I experienced in the first few days, it is also hard to pin words to what the remaining days were like. Trying to write about half of what I saw on the prayer team would take a novel. There was a prayer training session I undertook and somehow, after what I was told was a weekend training packed into a little over an hour, I felt supernaturally equipped to minister. I had experience doing altar ministry before, but it always was something I was anxious about. Yet, I never once experienced anxiety praying with others at the Outpouring and haven’t since. I can only credit this sudden change to the Holy Spirit.
Throughout the next days I prayed with people stricken with cancer, parents travailing in prayer for their prodigal children, and numerous pastors desperate for their churches and communities. I heard confessions of every sort of sin and wept with people experiencing deep brokenness. I prayed with young and old, every ethnicity, including a group from Brazil, and people from all walks of life. I joyfully prayed with a man who made a first-time commitment to Christ and connected him to our follow-up team (yes, that existed). Reflecting on it today, I feel like I did a decade of ministry in the course of a few days. It was exhausting, but I would immediately do it all over again.
While I spent a lot of time praying in the overflow chapels at the Seminary where the attendees skewed older, I also spent a lot of time praying in Hughes as well, which skewed younger thanks to the 25 and under reserved seating. Among nearly all age groups, however, there was a theme of three main struggles people were seeking prayer for: deliverance from anxiety, depression, and pornography. These three issues came up in probably at least half of the prayers I prayed with people. I can’t stress enough that these three burdens have such a stronghold over our society. Yet, people have a longing for freedom! They know that it ought not be like this. People need to know there is freedom in Christ, that His yoke is easy and His burden light! This is why we can’t keep giving people a feel-good Gospel. They end up with an absent Father, a halfway ticket-punching Savior, and a powerless Spirit. This isn’t the God we serve. This isn’t the God I saw at work in Wilmore. I saw contrition, repentance, renewal, healing, and deliverance in abundance. That can only come from the Triune God: a present Father who knows you intimately; His Son the Savior of the World who died for you, still intercedes for, and is coming back for you; and a powerful Holy Spirit who woos you, convicts you, dwells in you, and sanctifies you holy.
Now that some time has passed, I have had a chance to seriously reflect on what happened and what I saw. As it was happening, there was a significant temptation to add my voice to the plethora of voices online discussing the event. I am glad I did not. This piece, even, is not an attempt to add another “hot take,” respond to common criticisms, offer a theological deep dive, or defend what happened. I simply want to testify and share about what God has done. I pray it is received as such. In summary, I simply want to convey that I was profoundly changed, and I prayed with hundreds of others who experienced profound change as well.
I also pray this was not a one-off event. I pray the Spirit continues to pour Himself out into new wineskins all over the world and the Church follows His lead faithfully. I believe He will, I have already seen and heard evidence of it across the world. But ultimately it is up to us. God is always at work doing the exact same things he was and is doing in the little town of Wilmore, KY. This is the God we serve. He heals, delivers, and saves. That’s the norm for Him. It’s in His nature. Are you desperate for Him? Will you surrender to Him, fully surrender?
Of Thy fullness Thou art pouring
Thy great love and pow’r on me,
Without measure, full and boundless,
Drawing out my heart to Thee
- Here is Love, William Rees
https://kevinmwatson.com/2013/05/20/wesley-didnt-say-it-personal-and-social-holiness/
This excellent testimony needed to be documented. What a blessing. What a bunch of rich, wonderful blessings, in fact! Thank you, Mr. Johnson, for sharing some of what you experienced at the Asbury Outpouring!